Monday, August 22, 2011


I wrote the story below 5 years ago. I can't believe it has been that long... Lately, I've been doing a lot of reflection/evaluation in my life, trying to gage where I've been, where I am at, and what I still need to work on in my walk with Christ. These sentiments expressed here have never left me and although I've struggled in my walk at times, this has held fast and has only grown stronger. At this time in my life, with so many changes ahead for me and many of my friends, along with having returned from Riverland, this event may have happened 5 years ago, but the feelings are as true as ever in my life.

Smelly Memories

"So I was driving home one night after class and I was having a hard time finding the comfortable point between the super cold air or the lovely Oklahoma humidity. I decided that I would try the outside air option instead in hopes that this would bring homeostasis.


Anyway, I'm not sure if the air actually smelled this way outside or if it was just the air from inside the dash, but it smelled of heat and mold; it had a strange bitterness to it as well, and as much as you would think this would be unpleasant to me, it was the very opposite.

The smell was exactly like the way it smelled in Matamores, Mexico at the children's home where my family and I would go every year to do mission work when I was a kid. As I smelled this air, I imagined children playing soccer in the dusty field behind the pig pens and then drinking Joyas after teaching VBS. I remember how it felt to know that what I was doing was really important and that I loved it very much. That smell even made me miss the bunkhouse we stayed in and the simple life we led while living there.

Almost as quickly as it had come, the air changed and it smelled of night and grass with a touch of exhaust. As the smell faded, I felt a rush within me, as if something was pulling me back to this world. Tears began to rise, but I held them back. I know that what I really missed was the simplicity of life- loving God not just with my words but with my entire life and leaving everything this life offers in the dust.

I want to have that again someday. I want so much more than what this world offers." 
(Angela Willard, 2006)

I'm ready to jump. To free fall with the only net needed, Jesus Christ. It's so simple.

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